She so wants me.) Oh my god I’m such an idiot. I want her so much. It feels like a bit of an ache in my diaphragm, although I hate using that word – it is exactly where the feeling is but looks so…unpoetic. But chest isn’t really specific. The feeling sort of starts below the rib-cage, in the very centre of my core, then it flows (slowly though so I don’t know if flow is a good word…maybe eases. Yeah.) and it eases up behind my lungs and into the pit of my throat. Behind that bit where your collar bones dip. In the dip of your collar bone. That’s better. And then it rises a little more to sit just behind your oesophagus. You can feel it if you press the flesh of your throat back against the ridges protecting your windpipe, about midway up your neck. Rub it around gently and that sensation is a more precise version of the feeling I have now. Running out of page now so I’ll have to use what’s left from yesterdays… WEDNESDAY (9-1.30). DAY 4. No Casey today. But then, how many times. Athai partha amma parthura, unaku engayo kavanam iruku. Antha kavanathila kayam panira pore. Sari appadia sollureenga. Ippa pooi kannadiyila parunga.Parthuttu sollunga. Eppadi pannirukenu. Amma kannadiyila parthuttu vanthu romba romba thanksda. Shave pannina mathiri illama appadie valu valunu irukkuda. Romba cleana pannirukke Shanmunu romba closea vanthu ennai konjam neram appadie uthu parthaanga. Suddena en lipsoda lips vaichu irukki anaichu oru kiss panninaal amma. Appadi en udumbila 1000 volts electricity paancha mathiri aachu. Kaanama pona kulanthai mulikira mathiri mulichathai paarthu amma enna Shanmu, enna venum sollunu sonna piraguthan enakku ninappe vanthuchu. Solluda enna venumnu marupadiyum sonna pinnadi thiriyam vanthu ammavin kaiyya pidichu en kaiyyala amukinen. Amma appadie en avanga thalaya en thozh mela sanchanga. Naan ammavin mugathai nimithi mellama romba romba softa kiss panninen. Kiss panna panna amma appadie kann moodi rasicha. Ippa romba bolda en nakka ammavin.
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