Are we still OK? ... You and me???" Oh yes, Peter. I love you so much. I'm so sorry." I'm sorry, too. I love you, Pam. You know that don't you?" I nodded, somewhat shaken and starting to cry, despite bringing this conversation on myself."Look," brushing away my tears, "maybe all we've learned is," more sobs, "uh, well, how do i say this?"Peter rescued me, "maybe we just have needs, you know." Well, yes, but you are everything I need. ... Or so I thought," I added."Yeah, sure, but maybe for sex, you know," he had a tear on his cheek.I finally got the explanation I had rehearsed to come out of my mouth, "Maybe. Maybe we should just admit that we want some variety. And when we're apart," my voice trailed off."Maybe. Maybe it's just OK. ... Do you think?" he responded.So we agreed to visit Kyle and Alice and take them up on their offer. I was terrified, though. It's one thing to have a fling when hubby isn't around, or to realize he's doing the same. But to watch each other, wow. "I. I would never be hard-bitten like Steve, but I could soon hold my own in an argument, and I could give as good as I got. I started going to the prison gym and working out, so I hardened physically too. I never had a full on fight, but I found with time that I could exert a certain authority of my own. The fact that I was sharing a cell with Steve and surviving gave me quite a few points. Sometimes, to keep up her image, during social hours Steve would have a goad and pick on me mercilessly, hurling insults about my background, my money; my supposed revolutionary ideals. Sometimes it felt very real, but I knew that when we were alone together, she would clearly prove that she loved me again.I had been in Galloway for nearly a year when I had my severest test. It came as such things do, at the most obvious and least appropriate moment, and was mostly own stupid fault. I was back on drugs. Not addicted, not shooting smack or anything as bad as that, not more than what is now termed.
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