Although I’ve been open and honest about Dick I realize that situation caused me to deceive you, to deceive myself. There was no deceit about Dick. That confusion was the result of your assumption. Until now I never realized how afraid I was of losing you. I gave it all to you because I loved you and I knew you loved me. Dick never showed that love and just wanted to fuck. The deceit … ‘ Trista faltered and looked to her lap. I cupped her face in my hand and looked into her eyes saying, ‘It’s okay baby. It’s okay.’ She continued, ‘I … I gave it all to you. I was convinced I had to blow you to keep you. By suppressing my distaste of cum I, in turn deceived you with my feigned enjoyment of the taste. I deceived myself into believing it wasn’t deceit, it was what I had to do to keep you. I’m so glad I didn’t make a mistake by giving myself to you but back then I just didn’t know. I was afraid of another Dick episode. I’m sorry for the deceit and I’m sorry for the suspicion cast on the. He didn’t turn the light on but he did lock the door and then just stood there, sort of helplessly, not sure just what to do next – so after a few seconds of that I said to him ‘Aren’t you going to get undressed?’ And began to get my own things off. It was all a bit of a farce really, David was so tense he lost his erection, when I helped him recover it he couldn’t find the condom, when he finally found that he couldn’t get it on and in the struggle his cock started to go limp again, so once more I had to get it hard and then help him roll the thing down over it. I began to wonder if it was all really worth-while! I suppose that having been through all that all he wanted to do was get his cock into me and get it over with as quickly as possible, which was fine for him but not much fun for me – but that’s just about what happened – he had his fuck, I’d ‘lost’ my virginity, we got dressed and went back to the party. I don’t think he actually spoke to me again for the rest of the.
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