And yet it is the same. I feel more myself when he is around me than when I am alone. I wear no masks with him. I want to spend all my time with him. He moves in with me. It is a mistake. He feels obscurely defeated by my wealth. With me to pay for everything he no longer needs to work. His sense of self-worth disappears. He is depressed. We discuss the matter and he moves out. We remain friends and lovers but agree to see other people. We still spend several nights a week together. He introduces me to his other women. None lasts long. I feel I provide the continuity in his life. I love him. He tells me that I am his closest friend. He won't say it, but I know that he loves me as well. Suddenly he drops out of sight. I no longer even hear from him. Weeks pass. I see him one day on the street with a younger woman I don't know. He is laughing his special laugh. Jealousy flares in me. I push it down. As a man I was never jealous. Perhaps I didn't care enough. Or didn't feel my own. I know many men who would love to see their partners with other men, but either their partners are not willing participants, or they are too afraid to let it happen. Some of us conform to society’s rules, I don’t. I know for me, my adrenaline pumps when it is happening, and there are small twangs of perhaps jealousy or possessiveness, but nothing major. When the thought of her being fucked comes to fruition, I just get plain horny. The feeling in my groin is overwhelmingly awesome, incredulous and phenomenal. I am very good at pushing the boundaries with my partners, and I do this with her. In the fantasy realm, she almost feels like she is experiencing it. She tells me that she is a cock lover, and she wants other cock in her badly. And that turns me on to no end. So recently, we agreed that she was going to take things further. She wanted to start by touching a stranger’s cock. The thought thrilled me to no end, and her of course. All of which I relate here is her telling me the.
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