As i ate that creeping feeling of........ I wanna call it despair? I mean it'a not that bad, but i can't really think of anything else to call it so let's just call it despair. That creeping feeling of despair come over me again.I have been doing this for years now, get home, eat some shitty dinner, watch some shitty shows, go to sleep, wake up and jerk off, eat a shitty breakfeast, repeat. And then soon enough i would get a apartment, met a slightly above average girl, marry her, pump out two to three brats, buy a house, and then die.And i didn't want to do that, i want my life to be fun, and special, not just boring, and normal. But whatever, it doesn't matter i shouldn't even be down in the dumps about this. There are people that are fighting tooth and nail just to get by, and here i am bitching about my life not being special enough. I go upstairs to go to sleep, it was a bit early for that but it doesn't matter. I just want to get this day over with.I close my eyes, and get. The current time was about noonish so I went to have lunch. I then looked through my dads stuff and found a porno tape and popped it into my VCR. To see what sex was like. I saw what was going on and I liked it, it seemed natural to grab my dick and start rubbing back and forth. It grew hard and it felt really good. After a while I decided to stop. I watched T.V. until it was close to 6. Then I went outside to meet Steph. She was there, on time, as we planned. My mom and dad were downstairs watching T.V. while I brought Steph up to my room to watch that tape and see what she thought of it. I pressed play and we watched it together. She seemed to like the tape almost as much as I did. We watched it for a half hour and decided that it was what we were going to do that night when my parents were asleep. We played video games, watched T.V. and did other random things until it was 10 oclock, when my parents were asleep. We quickly stripped off our clothes and started to watch the video.
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