I hadn't told anyone, but once I'd asked Cindy to marry me, hearing or seeing the name no longer seemed to affect me. Still that was a whole different kettle of fish from hearing the details of her new life, or God forbid, having to see or talk to her. When Cindy made the arrangements to fly down there, she assured me I wouldn't have to see "my ex."I know that there are some men who want to keep up with their ex-wives. That wasn't me! If I thought about seeing Lorelei, it was as if my mind saw a door filled with grey fog, like you might see in a slasher movie. Or perhaps what those old mapmaker thought lay beyond the edge of the Earth. "Here live dragons!" Whatever image you wish to use it was a place my mind refused to go. Even the thought of being forced to talk about her was enough to make me fidget and if I thought about it long enough, I'd break into a sweat.If that meant I still had issues, I didn't care. As long as I wasn't force through that door or into the mouths of dragons. ’ I am puzzled at this. ‘But they are not coupling… I mean… they aren’t having sexual intercourse.’ ‘Not in the way you have come to understand it, Catriona, but they are more closely bonded than any physical penetrations you have experienced.’ A wave of revulsion sweeps over me. At first I do not know why, but then a apparition rises before me. I see a room, a small gaudy room with a bed. Men come and go as I lie on the bed. Some have stiff penises others are flaccid so I have to work on them. Some have small some large penises and they are pushed into me. Some demand that I suck their shafts or let then push it up my anus. Some tie me and beat me, others I tie and beat. There is pain and the drugs I must take to get through yet another day and night. Half an hour, and then another man, often foul breathed, sweating, unloving, uncaring, and just wanting my body for a brief ejaculation. There is pain… so much pain… in my head and in my body… I must take something… ‘Madame, in the.
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