’ ‘Not in the way you have come to understand it, Catriona, but they are more closely bonded than any physical penetrations you have experienced.’ A wave of revulsion sweeps over me. At first I do not know why, but then a apparition rises before me. I see a room, a small gaudy room with a bed. Men come and go as I lie on the bed. Some have stiff penises others are flaccid so I have to work on them. Some have small some large penises and they are pushed into me. Some demand that I suck their shafts or let then push it up my anus. Some tie me and beat me, others I tie and beat. There is pain and the drugs I must take to get through yet another day and night. Half an hour, and then another man, often foul breathed, sweating, unloving, uncaring, and just wanting my body for a brief ejaculation. There is pain… so much pain… in my head and in my body… I must take something… ‘Madame, in the name of God give me something for the pain.’ ‘You are safe here, Catriona,’ says Dionysus. ‘None. It’s wonderful. And we have found each pleasure can top the previous episode climaxing each and every time a factor above the last if you are well schooled in the effort. We plan to continue to give you that schooling for our sake. And now you are very aware of how each and every experience increases your output. There are reasons why that happens but for now it is enough to simply understand how it is and not why it is.”“But do I have to worry this is too massive for me to endure? I don’t understand how that much stuff can possibly come out of me. How does it manage to come through my penis in such apparent volume? That’s not possible. It can’t be possible. It would be like maybe believing in Santa Claus but then actually witnessing him in the fantastical act. That part of it is scary. Shouldn’t it be? I should feel damaged and in pain.” My eyes pleaded with her and she calmly focused on my gaze.[The reasons why I needed to understand - the enormity of my condition, like this, so.
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