Then I took the plunge saying, from the first time I saw her I wanted so bad to just be around her, and yes, I wanted to be more than just a friend because I had strong feelings for her.There was a total silence between us, just as I was about to say sorry for being so bold, Penelope said Donnie you ain’t like all the white boys and men I been around. How am I different I asked, well you ain’t all grabby and pestering me to slip off, so they can get in my britches. Ok, it was make or break time, I turned sideways straddle the bench and said I would never do anything that she didn’t want me to do, as I took her hand in mine, looked into her eyes saying how beautiful her eyes were and how much I wanted to kiss her. I ain’t never kissed no white boy and only one colored boy. Again, I said I wanted to kiss her, just a little kiss and a promise no grabby fingers. I leaned forward; she didn’t move away so I kissed her lightly on the lips, held the kiss and felt Penelope kiss me back, held. My rational mind managed to wrestle my overwrought imagination to a standstill long enough for me to think more clearly. Sandy hadn’t seemed upset, she had obviously known my secret already and hadn’t confronted me about it. In fact, the way she ‘outed’ me was so banal as to make me think she might not be too concerned. Her tights were laddered, and she had just come and asked to borrow a pair from me, as if that were the most natural thing in the world. Her last words as she left were, ‘I love you, babe.’ Not necessarily the words of someone who hated me for what I had been doing. ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ I cursed myself again, why hadn’t I stopped all this when I married? The truth was, of course, that I couldn’t stop. There was a time, I guess, before I started crossdressing, but I couldn’t remember when that was. I had been crossdressing since I was a k** and had begun by borrowing my mum’s clothes. At bath-time, I had discovered Mum left her stockings and underwear in the laundry.
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