I guess I was depressed about the entire situation. I was risking my life each day "for the folks back home." Then I would think that I was doing this to protect Mel and her fiancé. Damn!My world turned to shit a couple months after I took over the squad. We were taking a rest stop. We were in the middle of two other companies. The platoon leader called for a meeting of the NCOs in his group, the platoon sergeants and squad leaders. I started to walk back on the path we came in on, but I needed to take a dump. When I finished I noticed another path that looked to be shorter—because I had stopped I was late for the meeting. I had to cross a shallow stream. As I got to the middle I felt a slight resistance in front of my left boot. I had time to think, "Oh shit!" and didn't know anything else until I woke up on a hospital ship, the USS Repose.I was heavily sedated and it was only gradually, over a period of days that I was able to think clearly. The surgeon didn't beat around the. Such a man often needs to feel pleasurable, sexual energy flowing - his woman’s hair against his groin, her lips on his neck, her nipples brushing his thigh - before he is relaxed and attracted into life enough to want to open emotionally. The masculine is not at home in life and body, and therefore must first be attracted into the flesh before being willing and able to commune through the heart. For feminine-essence women, emotional opening comes first, then energy flows. Such a woman wants to feel her man’s presence, his caring, his heart’s connecting with hers, and then she opens in the flow of sexual energy. When a woman is tense and closed, her man would be making a mistake to abruptly grab her breasts. She would feel angry, even more closed, perhaps even disgusted at his insensitive grope.On the other hand, when a man is tense and closed, his woman would be surprised at how quickly his heart opens when he feels her lips around his penis - the more abrupt and sudden the better..
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