” “Really,” I asked. And suddenly I was sharing way more than I normally would have. “I saw the thing about it and I wanted to go too. Only I know I could never convince Laura to go and they don’t allow single guys. If you want to go, we could go together.” Ellie’s eyes grew wide. “I mean,” I continued, “we don’t have to go as brother and sister. Since it’s a swingers’ thing, it wouldn’t look odd if we didn’t have sex with each other.” Then I added halfheartedly, “’Cause that would just be gross, right?” “Oh, yeah, right,” Ellie mumbled, looking at her toes. “I would like to go with you.” I couldn’t believe I had just invited my sister to a sex party and she had agreed. I guess perversity runs in the family. When I arrived at her place Saturday night, she came bounding out to the truck dressed in a little micro-dress and I wondered if she had anything on underneath. Then I found myself imagining her bent over a table and being fucked from behind. I imagined watching her boobs ripple. I knew she wouldn't believe me, and if she did, she wouldn't do anything anyway.It wasn't just that he was fucking me whenever he wanted that was getting to me. It was the loss of control over my mind and body when he did it. Bad enough that he used me however he wanted, worse yet was that my body betrayed me during these times more often than not.Sometimes it was over with fast and I could just walk away and clean up. Then again, there were the times when my body had shuddered through unwanted climaxes and orgasms at my fathers hands. What had been almost acceptable from the dirty Spinozzos was humiliating coming from my Dad.I even thought about running away to escape him. But I was pretty smart. I knew that running away would solve nothing at all. What could I do? Go to New York and be a prostitute? How would that be any better than this? And what would happen if I turned out to like that too?One day when my Mom was out he grabbed me as soon as I got home from school. I had gotten.
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