12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:a) you’re older than dirtb) you’re blindc) you shot a man in Memphisd) you can’t be satisfied.No, if:a) you have all your teethb) you were once blind but now can seec) the man in Memphis lived.d) you have a retirement plan or trust fund.13. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:a) bad wineb) bad whiskey or bad bourbonc) muddy waterd) black coffee.The following are NOT Blues beverages:a) mixed drinksb) kosher winec) Snappled) sparkling water15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can’t have a Blues death if you die during. My stockings were black, andsilk, and my shoes were specially-adapted Laboutons, from Italy, as blueas my blouse, with three-inch heels. The adaptations were simple enough.One heel had a dagger in it, under a false cap, tipped with lethalpoison. The other had a small vial filled with a mild nerve agent. Oneor two drops in a drink, and its ?goodnight, mother?.A spritz of Chanel on my neck, and a dab on both wrists, my clutch pursein one hand and a glass of Chardonnay in the other.The only thing out of the ordinary was the choker I was wearing. It wassimple, black leather, and stylish.The letters C and D were embossed onto it. In certain lighting, theyshone out quite clearly.I let Nelson, that?s the idiots name, see me walking around the club. Imade sure he watched my hips sway. I?ve been walking in heels sincebefore he?d been born, and I could work it. Finally, I?d chosen a tablenear his, not a random act to be sure. He?d smiled at me several timesbefore coming over and.
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