So I let my cock spring free of my pants and take hold of it. My old cum is still slick and slippery making my hand slide along my length pushing gently towards the end of my rod and moving the skin to cover the bell end with skin and block out the cool night air.As I pull back I watch and feel the skin slip back exposing the most private portions of my cock to the night air. Then I start to pump at my shaft.....I am tired and horney and want to get my cum over and done with tonight so making a fist around my shaft I pump hard gripping the rod and pulling the skin tight back as I buck my hips imagining that I am one of the lucky bastards in the videos rubbing himself off to cum in some gorgeous girls mouth or waiting to spurt all over her ass.I can almost feel the rosebud of her ass against the end of my cock as I start to swell and feel my balls tighten. I remember the ast video I watched where a girl pisses into her girlfriends speculum filled ass and imagine I am with them. It serves me right for assuming that I’m still the center of his universe. I can see what he sees in her though. She’s beautiful, she looks smart, and most likely she’s funny with a little spunk and no attitude. She’s just what he needs to move on. In a sense I feel like Gatsby—minus the illegal money and mansion—waiting on my lover to realize how much I love him, willing to sacrifice my very soul just to have a moment with him again, waiting like a moron for him to turn around and love me even for a little while. I’m rather pathetic, aren’t I? What happened to me? Where did I go? Where has Ananda gone and who is this wretched individual she has left behind in a shell of her existence? I really can’t take this anymore. I’m starting to feel as if I’m suffocating, as if someone is holding a pillow against my face or smothering me with a plastic bag and I’m too weak to fight against the pressure. This ordeal with David is literally draining the life out of me yet I can’t leave him.
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