I lay there silently, not wanting to disturb him. I turned the events of the last eight hours over in my mind. I had virtually demanded this boy make love to me. He was so kind. I recalled his offering to let me sleep unmolested. It was my decision, I remembered, to crawl into his bed. When I considered our joining, my desperate need for him, his willingness to please me, I realized I wanted more. I thought about his startlingly bright blue eyes. I wondered what they would look like when not beset by fatigue. I didn’t see how they could be more brilliant. If I allowed my mind to run wild I could imagine a relationship with this young man. What would it be like, I wondered? He’s so much younger than I am. Maybe he wouldn’t want a relationship with someone like me, someone as old as I. Yet, perhaps it was just what he was looking for. ‘I’m putting my husband through medical school,’ I heard myself explain to friends. And after medical school, what? Long hours of loneliness as he. But the music is getting too loud in here, we've both drunk enough, and it’s been a long time since we needed alcohol to open up and be honest. It’s as intuitive as it can be now, but the atmosphere in the bar is starting to intrude, we decide to move on, relocate to somewhere less busy, somewhere where we can play without distraction, again, we clasp hands and step out of the back door into the closed walled deserted square that the bar backs onto.Outside it's fresh and a little chilly, but not uncomfortable, it’s pretty quiet out here, and we pause for a moment, face to face, time for a decision, where now, home to mine, not enough time before you have to return to your world, back to the car to just sit and be together, too cramped, not yet.. So its another bar, we've still got an hour or so left, so clasping hands we start across the square towards the other, quieter end of town.But I have other ideas, steering you towards the corner of this square, where there is little lighting,.
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