To know that I can still be deserving of someone else's affections even with all that is going on in my life. She knows that I still can not push thoughts of him from my mind and yet, she accepts it and still presses on with me. She continues to come visit me, stay with me, talk to me like young lovers should and there is never any question of her feelings towards me. She isn't torn between two people. It's just me that she cares for and wishes to give her attention to. It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me.I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not easy and I feel like a terrible, inadequate person because I have not found the strength to accomplish it. Especially as it complicates certain aspects of my relationship with Darci, like sex, for example. There have been times where it is not her I think of and it is not her name that I wish to call. Endlich, nach ca. 20 Minuten betrat ein kräftiger, gut gebauter, turbantragender Mann so um die Dreißig meine Zelle und stellte eine herrlich duftende Gemüsesuppe mit einigen Fleischbrocken und einen Krug kaltes Wasser auf einem Fenstersims ab. Er entfernte meine Handfesseln und den Knebel. Sofort wollte ich zum Krug voll Wasser stürzen, doch ein zischender Peitschenhieb ließ mich augenblicklich innehalten. Ich glotzte verwirrt, als der Mann sein schon steifes „Zepter“ unter seinem Kaftan, unter dem er wohl nackt war, hervorholte und mir unmissverständlich andeutete, war er wollte: Zuerst seinen Riemen absaugen, dann erst essen und trinken!Wie ein Verhungernder verschlang ich seinen dicken Bolzen, aus dem schon nach kurzer Zeit dessen Schleim spuckte. Ich schluckte fast mit Lust ¯ es gibt wahrlich Schlimmeres, zum Beispiel Durst!! Und ich hatte solchen Durst, so dass ich sogar seine Pisse gesoffen hätte, wäre dies der Preis für den Krug Wasser gewesen!Die kräftige Suppe und das.
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