Sissified? No. Babyfied? No. Feminized? No. And on andon I asked. I was up front with him: "I have to think about this for a fewdays." He said he would patiently wait and would not hurry me. He did andhe didn't, respectively.I confess I gave serious consideration to ending our marriage. He hadalways been a smart man, a strong man, a sensitive man. He had always beenmy manly man. But what sort of man wears a French maid uniform?Before deciding, I prodded him for further details. "What would thisentail?"He instantly responded --- he had been giving this some thought, Isurmised --- with a list: a black dress with white trim with a full skirtmid-thigh length, a white, laced half-apron, a corset, a ruffledheadpiece, stockings and garter belt, panties, five-inch stilettos (blackof course), a feather duster, a choker necklace that said "Maid",earrings, a wig done up in a French bun, and (OMG) DD-sized breast forms."And if company comes over?" I asked hesitantly."Then we tell them it's a fun. C. Catchy name isn’t it? It stands for Cutout Cops. I make life-sized, cardboard cops that look like the real thing. You see, I use actual police officers as models, pay them a fee to photograph them and to use their image, and reprint their likeness on cardboard. I even make phony police cars. I take retired police cars, buy them for a song, and remove the engine and drive train, so that they are lighter and easier to roll. I repaint them to match the patrol cars of your community and decorate them with a couple of cardboard cutout cops, and viola, officers on duty without the coffee breaks, stops for donuts, and bad attitude. Then, I park the cardboard patrol car on your street, in front of your house, and leave it in your driveway, wherever there are criminals. Crime and criminals will quickly go in the other direction when they spot a police car regardless if it is real of fake. It is the human nature of criminals to react reflexively and to flee the area pronto. Trust me, they.
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