" He shook his head. "It's been solong since he died. I shouldn't cry like that." Big boys don't cry?" Katie asked. She shook her head slowly. "First,bottling up the pain doesn't help. Second, you're not a boy any more,and with all the hormones raging through your system, you're going tofind yourself more emotional. A _lot_ more emotional. So it's okay tocry." You the floor counselor, too?" Tom asked, trying to sound humorous, andfailing.Katie smiled. "I'm studying Psych, remember?" Oh, yeah." Was that why she'd taken him on as a roommate? Katieseemed like a nice girl. Tom hoped that he wasn't just a live-inpsychology experiment."Besides, girls cry. For lots of reasons. Happiness, sadness - youname it, you'll find girls crying. And since you're a girl, it'sofficially all right for you to cry." She sat up. "Now there's onething we have to do."Tom straightened, frowning. "What's that?" Your name." Not that again," Tom complained, hoping to shunt that discussion. Maybe there's a way ... That's for another time.What I'm trying to say with this letter which I may never end because it's getting very long and you'll probably wake up and we can talk face to face, although you looked pretty out of it when Kristin and I got up, so peaceful and beautiful I wanted to stay and share your peace but needed to bring the girls home for appearance sake at least, but what I'm trying to say is I'm in a dangerous place right now. I could make some excuse, I don't know what, to spend tonight with you and meet Natty and I hope find a mutual love with her, then sneak back home and replace the mask, but if I find a love with Natty as powerful or more powerful than the one I found with you, I won't have a mask anymore, I'll be the crazy, dirty mouth, loving and loved creative force I pretended I wasn't but dreamed I could be again. But what's fucked up is I know so little about you, and one of the few things I know is you were willing to leave Natty and your child.
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