But without any vulgarity on the screen. Overall presentation on the screen looks fine, but the actual shot and acting seem to be a bit sensual.Kishore: Yes Anni, you are right. Very sensual.I laughed and said, “Oh director put you to act in this scene during the audition?”Kishore bent down his head and nodded yes. I felt he is very uncomfortable talking about this. I realized it, but I thought to pull his legs to make him comfortable before we start acting in this scene.Me: Hey come on da, how you did? What mistake you did?Kishore: (with bit fake crying tone) Anni, please don’t tease me. Consider myself as I’ve not acted at all in that scene. I screwed it up heavily. My legs, hands and every part of my body shivered. I did sweat a lot and screwed it up completely.Me: Oh (laughed) Ok don’t want to embarrass you with the question. Leave what happen in the last shoot? How well you are mentally prepared for this scene in the next audition.Kishore: Not much Anni. But I am artificially. Itook off with the ball and scored. I finally had a legitimate smile. Itfelt good.At band class, we were extensively practicing our field show fortomorrow. The band teachers really wanted a flawless show. It washomecoming after all. They had us start and stop and restart just toclean up some sloppiness.While playing sports helped to work out my emotions and angry. Playingmusic certainly allowed me to take my mind off of everything. Track.Chase. The mission. It also allowed me to think. It allowed me to focus.Why was I so upset? I was a 37 year old and I was loosing focus of whatwas important. Was this all about Chase? Was it about my ex-wife? Was itabout the poor decisions I've made over the past 20 years? Maybe it wasall of that. Maybe I didn't expect fate and destiny to push back. I wasgiven a second chance. And drunken escapade aside, I was kicking ass andtaking names. I was putting myself out there. I was taking risks. And Iwas winning. I just didn't really expect Chase to dump.
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