Blood welled from between his fingers, and I couldn’t help but worry that if he let go, I’d be watching his insides spill out.His gaze locked on mine, and his mouth opened, though no sound came out; he smiled at me, a beatific smile that scared the hell out of me, and then closed his eyes. His arms slumped to his sides as he went completely limp.I screamed, probably loud enough to wake the dead – or at least the rest of the ship. If I’d been a mage in that moment, I’d have made a deal with a demon in a heartbeat if it meant he opened his eyes again. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move – could only stare at the face of the man I loved, not even sure if he still lived.He couldn’t die. I couldn’t stand it; I wouldn’t. We’d fought so long and hard to find each other, to have a tiny slice of peace and happiness, and I wouldn’t survive having that ripped away from me. I just sat there, staring at his beautiful, bloodied face, his lax expression, until the tears finally came. I don’t know how. I step forwardfeeling as if I was on autopilot, not really sure whether I wanted to gothrough with this but not sure if I'd come too far to back out now. Sammyhands me a bottle of lube and gives me a nod of encouragement. I place afew squirts of lube into my hand and rub it over his cock. This felt somuch more humiliating than the blowjobs. With the blowjobs, I wasrestrained and arguably taken advantage of. Here, I'm free to stop orwalk away, and yet I'm willing running my hands over another man's penis.Finishing off with the lube, I lift one leg onto the sofa and, whilelifting my dress and petticoats up, I place my knee down next to him,then the other leg. I'm now knelt with my arse hoovering only a couple ofinches above the head of his penis. The anticipation is hell. I'd likedthe idea of being penetrated anally but the fantasy had always been to bedominated by a woman with a strap-on. There's also a difference betweenfantasy and real life, and now I'm seconds away from a guy.
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