I met all the people I planned to meet, but I couldn't seem to get any meaningful conversations started. Perhaps some rest before my talk with Howard would help settle my mind.As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I. They would often stand close together, while working on this or that plant. He would slide his fingers slowly over a leaf, damp with the moisture she'd just sprayed on it. She would grasp a thick branch in her hand, running her thumb over it to brush away some dirt. It was a subtle, sensual play, but one they never acknowledged by actually touching each other. Oh they got close, close enough to feel the heat coming off their bodies as they sweated in the hot greenhouse, but that was all."How did you manage to get potting soil on your face?" he asked, reaching out to brush it off.This didn't work too well, since his hands were covered in it, too."Hey!" she protested with a grin.Her hands were also dirty, and she deliberately ran one down his arm, smearing it with dirt. Alan looked at her in surprise, but she just stood there, a challenging smile on her face."It looks like you've got some on the other side of your face too," he said, his voice level but with a gleam in his eyes.Still.
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