They’ll shop for you, bring you a dress, and make sure it fits correctly. Something fitting for the party. It will be my little thank you for brightening a few days with me here in the sun. And you might even meet someone who could help advance your career. I’ll make the introductions but it will be up to you to convince a potential employer of your qualifications.”“I hardly know what to say, Mr. Rentz,” I gasped.“Please, call me Jon, dear. And think nothing of it.”Whoa! It was a little more difficult to extract myself from him as he wasn’t quite as loaded. But I managed without injuring him or his pride. I have to tell you: I spent a long time in the shower after I got home. Ewww!When I got out of the shower, I went onto my lanai and looked out at the beach in the moonlight. How I wish I was just here enjoying myself. Down on the beach a man was talking on his cellphone, animatedly waving his arms. It must be awfully hard to hear down by the water. Some people just can’t leave work. A few other outfits got some money, too. I gave to the USO, and the 82 nd Airborne has a charitable scholarship fund that would get some money. In general, the Army had been good to me. Okay, Hawkins was an asshole, but most of the outfit had been good people.The interesting thing is how much nicer they treat you the more money you give somebody. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a college or the Red Cross or the United Bumfuck Charitable Trust, the result is always the same. You’re a fish on the line, and they want to reel you in.$0 to $250 - You are classified as a Guppy. Thanks a lot, we’ll put you on the mailing list, we’ll send you a receipt.$250 to $500 - You are now upgraded to a Minnow. You get a much nicer thank you letter and get upgraded to our premiere mailing list, so we can ask you again in six months.$500 to $1,000 - Anybody who gives this much is a Big Minnow! The thank you letter is computer printed, but signed by hand, and in the future, you get a phone call asking for.
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