I told him I would be wearing a red silk dress but this morning, I spilt my coffee all over it. So here I am sitting in a pink silk dress hoping he will know it is me. ‘Over here’ I try to transmit telepathically. He is in his own ego centred world. My eyes still on his, he finally catches my gaze. My body begins to tingle from the rush of emotion as he walks over to me. “Thought you said red?” “Well, things happen and I had to change so I picked the closest colour I could.” A silence falls upon us and I decide I better do something. Moving closer to him I slide my hand under the table and rest it high on his thigh. “I find you so attractive.” I whisper. “You are incredibly sexy too.” Looking down at his hand starting to caress my thigh I notice a white line on his ring finger. I ignore the feeling that gives me and allow him to caress me. Finishing my drink and standing I say “Will you order me another while I go freshen up?” “Sure, Babe.” ‘I can’t believe I am really. I've got something for you."Johnny was naturally wary of old men in overcoats visiting his sex shop. "Hey, listen, man, please don't flash me. Look around us, if I wanted to see a penis I would just–"He was cut off by the stranger reaching into his coat & producing a mysterious brass object. Johnny breathed a sigh of relief, if only because it was neither a weapon or genitals, & immediately began to worry about this new unknown."This is for you," the man declared, ceremoniously plunking the heavy metal totem on the counter. Johnny blinked, looking over the stranger's treasure."Sorry man, we don't do returns," Johnny cautiously replied. "You get it, right? Most of our merchandise doesn't do so great on the secondhand market."Johnny winced at not-so-fond memories of customers trying to refund a toy after a weekend of pleasure. Whatever the hell this metal thing was, at least it did not seem like something that had been in the stranger's butt. It looked like some kind of... gravy boat?.
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