Yeah. Bring money. Damn.I read somewhere that on average women who have been dumped spend $800 on a makeover. When Hope left me and cleaned out my loft, I spent $12.95 on a case of beer and didn’t change clothes for two weeks. That was the last makeover I’d had. When you do most of your work in cyberspace, who cares what color your t-shirt is?My self-image is a cross between the dark intensity of Sam Spade and the suave sophistication of Nick Charles. Really? I’m a tall, skinny, rumpled Columbo in faded jeans and a t-shirt. I showered quickly, brushed my teeth, pulled on said jeans and t-shirt, and headed out the door to meet the mother and daughter—all the while feeling like the golden sun logo on my shirt was turning into a massive target on my chest.On the street corner outside the Analog Café, a guy dressed almost like me was tacking posters to a utility pole. The broadsides were stapled from the ground to as high as he could reach and all the way around the pole. About twenty. Right size. I picked it up. Neck was still warm from my hand. I looked back at her pussy. Very wet. Should I?Now you have to understand that Ashley, though a latter-day hippie and liberal in most ways, had not had sex until she was nineteen, and had lost her virginity to me merely a month before. I mean, she loved sex, but was still at that stage where what seemed old hat to me might seem quite kinky to her.Even so, with a soft dick and a hard bottle, I threw caution to the wind, climbed up onto her in a faux missionary position, pressed my flaccid penis against her pubes, and, reaching back around my buns to hold the bottle between my legs, carefully inserted the bottle neck into her dripping wet gash to work it in and out in time to my rocking hips like it was my cock. In less than five minutes of that action, she came big time.I surreptitiously placed the bottle on the little side table next to the candle as I kissed her lips and neck.She reached over and fired up the half doobie.
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