The mereabsence of endorphins flooding my body sent me into orgasm withdrawal theemptiness filled only with jagged sobs. I kept pleading for forgiveness,but I couldn't form the words, I was terrified I would never recover, thatI had become brain damaged and broken, a defective sissy. I wondered ifshe was leading me to the incinerator or the slaughterhouse...I prayed foreither...anything that would bring an end to the pain. But most of all, Iprayed for forgiveness...I doubt she heard me. And if she did, I'm certainshe didn't care...Instead of my end, we returned to the place where our relationship began.She led me back into the showers, tying my leash to a ring on the wall Ican only assume was designed for that very purpose. Then, as if turning ahose on a pig covered in her own shit, she turned the shower on fullblast, saying, "You missed dinner while you were being 'fed', so bedtimecan't be far off. Try not to make a pig of yourself before you turn in. IfIsabella nags me for your. .I can scarcely remember them and the torment of their passing. I entered the box as George Howden Ghent. I was a dealer in antiques and objects of handmade art, carpets and religious objects. Husband of Dominique and generous businessman who always tried to strike a decent deal. Who always shared his profits with the seller, a man who valued fairly and sold at the agreed price.They broke me down.They assaulted my mind.They flensed my body.They dissolved what had been and built anew.Reduced me to my lowest common denominator and then rebuilt me in the image that they wanted. The servile frightened fuck-doll that they wanted and could sell for a huge profit. I was to be an object of furthest dark imagining. A sordid trial to see if a man can be condensed to his most basic components once the resistance has evaporated.I did not see much of Ra’fah.Occasionally she passed by and inspected what had been done so far. She allowed me to worship her feet, naked they raped my mouth and I hoped.
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