It would take a lot more than a weakly kicked soccer ball to knock me out. In fact, last week I helped deliver a baby. After the baby was born, he kicked me as I was holding him. That kick had more impact than your feeble soccer kick. The parents actually named him Samuel, after me! Your (very old) maybe new friend, Sam I read, re-read, re-re-read, re-re-re-read and re-re-re-re-read my letter before finally hitting send. It couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes before my e-mail program ‘pinged,’ indicating I had a new e-mail. Dear Mr. Walker (not just very old, but ancient) (Sam), ‘weakly kicked soccer ball’??????? ‘feeble soccer kick’??????? ‘blonde’ REALLY????? ‘blonde’ SERIOUSLY?????? But thank you for your kind words about how ‘hot’ I looked. (Yes, I am smirking, but it is nice to know that your eyes are still working.) The only thing that is saving you now is that, because of your insipid e-mail, if I don’t leave now I will be late for a class, and I HATE being late for. Most of the debt had been Maggie’s anyway. Maggie got the mine, I got the shaft. Even with all that, I got the better deal. I got the hell away from Maggie. I hadn’t always felt that way. I had loved her when we first married. At that time she hadn’t been a drunk or an adulteress. Those things took a couple of years to happen. Don’t let anyone tell you that a woman strays because she isn’t getting it at home. That is bullshit. Maggie didn’t want to get it at home. She wanted to get it from her boss. You guessed it, the honorable Eddie Simpkins. He probably already had my garage office converted to his home office. I thought for a minute about not signing the papers. That thought only lasted a minute. Getting the two of them off my ass was worth every penny. I didn’t return home until after lunch. Lunch most days was no more than a hot dog at a local diner. That day was no exception. I celebrated by having a coke instead of iced tea. Lucille the black waitress said, ‘What in the world.
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