If they had, my humiliation would be complete.If they hadn’t seen anything, maybe, just maybe, I could pretend it never happened. I was wearing the bath robe. Maybe that covered up my shameful secret? I groaned in dismay. The thought of them seeing me wet my pants made me want to lock the door of the bathroom and hide in here until they went away. Like that would ever happen. They would set up camp outside the door until I died of old age. Or more likely, they would take the door away and come in and get me.I looked towards the door and froze in terror. The door was open. In my frantic rush, I’d pushed it closed behind me, but it had obviously bounced back open instead of shutting properly.I was sitting on the toilet, practically naked, peeing, with the door open. And Angie was standing in the doorway, staring at me curiously. Oh God!!Part of my brain was saying it could have been worse. It could have been Mum, or Tara, or even ... Dan!I stared at Angie, trying to figure out how to. " Ah, too late my son, we did it last Thursday," the priest says, "And we will wipe the place from the face of the earth, it is an abomination in the sight of the Lord." I seen worse," I said, "It ent the fucking house's fault as that cunt lived in it, is it." Indeed," the priest agreed, "I feel we should disinter him and rebury him in unconsecrated ground." "My sister Dolly say you should dig him up and hang him from a lamp post by his bollocks," the old biddy says."Right," I agree."But I prefer an ass hook!" she added."Edie, that's private," Dolly insisted."To hang them from a lamp post by," Edie explained, "It is unbearable," she said, "Pedophiles abusing poor little children when there are so many single ladies in their prime crying out to be loved." Right," I said, "Tragic." I knew you would understand," Edie said, "Compartment number 5," she said and winked at me."Look," I said."Better humour her," the priest said in a whisper, "Actually she bangs quite nicely for an old bird.".
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