So, I got a hair from him, too, and–‘ ‘You’re sure it was from him, right?’ she interrupted. ‘Stacey!’ I hissed, feeling a little annoyed. ‘I’m not stupid. I picked one of his pubic hairs while I was blowing him and swallowed it.’ ‘Ewww, that’s gross, Linnea. I can’t believe you did that!’ ‘It wasn’t like I had a choice! I told you these guys were sexist pigs. He practically raped me right outside the bathroom! And let me tell you, there’s a reason they call him Big Bill.’ ‘Too much information! Anyway, it sounds like it should have worked.’ ‘Well,’ I said hesitantly, ‘I was concerned that too much of the lip gloss might have gotten wiped off when we were kissing, so after he got off, I licked as much as I could off his face just to be safe.’ ‘Linnea,’ she asked dangerously, ‘where did he orgasm?’ I replied meekly, feeling she thought I’d made a mistake somewhere, although I didn’t see where. ‘In my mouth, mostly.’ ‘Mostly,’ she sighed. ‘So you kissed, right after you put on the. I don’t know him. He left his keys outside. I was just returning them.’ ‘He’s drunk too much and says he can’t go home.’ ‘He can. He didn’t have his door keys before. He has now.’ ‘Are you sure you don’t know him?’ ‘Sure. I have never met him before. Someone described what he was wearing and said he’d dropped those keys. I just did a favour for someone else.’ ‘OK. I’ll try to get him to go home soon.’ I don’t know why I did it. Perhaps it was the despair on Brian’s face. I pulled out a twenty pound note and gave it to the barman. ‘Get him a taxi. This should be enough.’ The barman took the note but gave me a hard stare. ‘OK. I don’t understand but I’ll get him a taxi.’ I left before the barman could ask any more questions. Sugar-Plum was sitting on a bench outside. She was shivering. I wrapped my arms around her. ‘Let’s get you home, Sugar-Plum. Where is home?’ ‘I can’t go home.’ She started sobbing again. ‘Why not? Home would be best for you.’ ‘I told my parents that I’d be out all.
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