You sit in front of a half-dome apparatus, stare through a lense looking at a pinprick of light, and click the handheld signaling button when you see a light flashing elsewhere in the dome. Can you say, ‘I’ll take blind as a bat for $200, Alex?’ As I basically see only out of my right eye and with very little peripheral vision, there was not a lot of clicking going on. As we finished the test, the tech casually remarked, ‘So, do you drive a lot?’ I could picture her passing out a description of me and my vehicle to all her friends with a warning to avoid me on the road at all costs as a public safety announcement. To throw another bucket of cold water on my social life, all my friends were married with little kids. If I went out with them, it was probably to the mall or to Mickey D’s for a happy meal, although most of the kids were not all that happy at being dragged along with us. When you live in a small rural town like I did, the only places you meet anybody are in the bars or in. I've just had a big argumentwith your mom about the wedding pictures. Mike and I decided it was unfairto have the photos of you in that outfit circulated, so we deleted,edited, or cropped them and in our thank you letters to our guests we'veasked them to destroy any pictures of you they may have." Wow, thanks Janette, but what did mom say?" I asked."She really lost it and accused me of making her look ridiculous in frontof everyone. I told her she should have thought about that before she andCathy dreamed up the idea and embarrassing you," said Janette."Cathy has apologised to me about that and has been much nicer to merecently," I said."Well be careful Tim, just like you take after your dad, Cathy takes aftermom. Now what can we do about the Mikado bridal underwear she wants you towear? You said mom bought that at a bridal shop?" Yes, a place called Amelia's in Bramfield," I replied."Oh, I need to tell your dad about that, it could be important. But whatcan we do now about those.
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