He watched for a while, looked at me thrashing on thebed, then he turned and started packing his belongings.I tried to explain that I was being driven by anaddiction but he turned a deaf ear. My onlycommunication with him after that was through hislawyer.I talked to several psychotherapists over the last twoyears. It appears that I am not a nymphomaniac in that Iam not compelled to copulate with a variety of men toget assurance of my desirability. Rather I appear tohave a case of PSAS, persistent sexual arousal syndrome.Some women with this condition have an almost constantneed for sexual stimulation suffering up to 300 orgasmsa day. It is not as erotic as you may think. It becomes almostimpossible to get anything done. Tight clothes, carrides, casual touches trigger off an immediate need forsexual gratification. Women with a severe case of PSASare held prisoner by their own genitals. I’ve heard thatsome women with PSAS have even contemplated committingsuicide.In my case my. “Fucking bastard,” I said to an empty room. A week later I got a text from Neil asking if he could take me to dinner. I was slightly taken aback, I didn’t remember giving him my number, certainly I don’t remember putting his into my phone. I pushed the phone across my desk and did my damnedest not to think about the little shit. It vibrated again. Another text. “Come on Jane give me a chance. Sorry about walking out on you” I arranged to meet him for dinner on Wednesday. Some Italian restaurant near Spittle-fields Market in town. Easy enough for me to get there, I work in Camberwell. I had no idea where Neil lived or worked. Was this somewhere easy for him to get to? somewhere that he knew? He was waiting for me when I arrived. A gentlemen after all. He stood up. “Hello Jane, it’s good to see you.” “Is it?” He kissed me fondly on the cheek. Slightly disappointed I sat down. He was wearing familiar jeans, a black t-shirt and jacket. He look handsome and even though I was still furious.
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