He asked if he could fuck me. I hesitated knowing that I should say no but unable to form the words. He said he had a big cock. My mind reeled. Why had he asked? Somehow his forcing me to think, to decide, had broken the spell I was under up until that moment. I had not had a conscious rational thought since the first time his tongue had touched my swollen sex, but now I was becoming conscious of where I was, and what I was doing, and thinking about what my fiancé would think when I came home. I felt an immense anger and frustration that I was now a rational being again, shaken out of the delicious pleasurable oblivion that I had been enjoying. I said no. He asked me if he could masturbate. I again said no, knowing that if I saw his hard cock I would want it inside me. If only he had not asked, if he had just began fucking me, I would not have stopped him. But being asked, having to make a decision, I could only say no. I felt torn, even as I stopped him, my horny body wanting to say. I’m directing, while playing the Beast, and Gaston. The Kemp Twins, Bobbie and Richard, are the Gaston and Beast understudies.Marcus slapped me on the shoulder and said, “Randall, I know you can do it physically, but can you do it emotionally?”“What exactly do you mean, Marcus?”“In the scenes as Gaston, you have to treat Belle like a commodity, but as the Beast, you’re indifferent to her until that moment when you realize that there are feelings happening, that maybe she is the one,” Marcus said.“I see what you mean, Marcus ... and yes I believe I can make that distinction. I clearly remember how I felt for her before I declared my love to her, and now she’s all I think of. Thanks a lot, buddy ... I am going to rely on you a lot, you know.”“I have strong shoulders Randall, load me up,” he replied.We let everybody go and told them all how much we appreciated their Auditions.Carol and I drove home in relative quiet. She was leaning against me humming ‘Going Courtin’ which brought me out.
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