Part of my growing process was learning to accept that I am capable of, not just in theory, but in actuality of the most horrific things that any human that has ever lived has done. I am also capable of the good. Every bit of it from child cannibalism to saving the whales is part of being human. I am human.My wife works. One morning this last week as I was driving her to work I saw an old couple sitting on their porch the next block over. All I could think and feel was I HATE YOU! I didn’t know those people. I had never seen them before that moment, but I hated them with every fiber of my being because they were old and I’m not going to be. If I could have killed them and gotten away with it I would have. Instead, I finished taking my wife to work and thought about how much I hated them.Then I thought about how much I dislike people in their twenties. All the years that most of them have left and the shit they get to do. Oh Well, that’s all you can say. The anger I talked about a. " Your choice? It may be your choice, but they would be feeling a hell of a lot worse knowing that you quit because of them." You don't get it." No, I guess I don't, explain it to me." So much of my life, I've taken from my family. This is the one time, the ONE TIME that I could give something BACK to them. What other gift is there that I could give them?" How about staying alive?" At what cost? If I'm going to die, I would rather get it over with than to put them through it. With the cost and emotional baggage of seeing me waste away to nothing, they would be better off." You think to little of yourself Patrick. If you give up, it should be for you, not for easing your family's burden. Your heart, who you are, is what draws people to you, it is both innocent and mature, as is your reasoning, but it is your family, and friends, that will in the end be the ones who will see your passing as not a saving grace for them, but of great sadness that we would not have you around, to better.
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