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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to. ” Emma sighed and dropped her head in despair. It would seem that they had to agree to disagree on this one. She raised a finger and wagged it towards him, “One day, you will learn the truth,” she said, smiling. Matt felt a resounding slap on his back and lurched forward towards Emma. “Talking sex are we?” asked Janice, “May I join you, or do you want me to pick up some bloke and talk to them instead?” Matt looked at her dumbfounded. Emma laughed out loud, “Yeah, go and do what Matt can’t, control someone.” Both girls laughed, one of them, at Matt’s expense. Emma looked at her watch and decided she needed to head home, “Sorry guys, I have an early start in the morning, I need to get to bed.” Emma slipped off the chair and pulled her bag from the floor slinging it over her shoulders as she waved goodbye. Janice waited a while before looking quizzically at Matt, “What the fuck was all that about?” Matt shook his head, “Nothing. We were having a great conversation followed by a.
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