Laura had made all the other women I knew seem like pale shadows of the real thing and I lost interest in any ongoing social interactions. I tended to stay at the ranch and bury myself in work. I was lucky I didn't have to pay alimony to Dixie and we'd never had children so I was gradually able to make improvements and put the ranch on a sounder financial footing. But... well, I wasn't kidding myself. Every day I lived in various shades of gray.I think I faced up to it okay — anyway I did my best. But there was this hollow place in me that nothing seemed able to fill. I'd still go to The Stampede once a month or so, more out of loneliness than anything else I guess. I maybe had this subliminal thought - buried so deep I didn't even want to voice it — that one day I'd see that longhaired beauty again. Oh, I danced once in a while with one or another girl, but I never went home with any of them again.About three months after all that, on a cold, windy night a couple days after a lonely. Mostly it's financial and sexual. Is that right? I said, "It could be." "Is that what you want, sex? she asked. "Is that what you need, money? "Yes, I need to have help paying for my apartment. I have a minimum wage job but that doesn't pay for Jason's daycare." "Look, Nora, you are a really nice girl. I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but I am looking for companionship." "Tom, it's not awkward. I've thought this over, and would love to spend some quality time with you." "I see. By quality time you mean spending the night together?" "Yes. To be blunt about it, and so there is no misunderstanding, I mean fucking each other." "How much do you need?" "I owe over a thousand on my credit card. Is that too much?" "We'll see. When can we get together?" "Tomorrow night? Is that too early? My mom can take Jason." "Does your mom know what you are doing?" "Of course. She had me at sixteen, and has struggled as a single mom like me. She understands. She's okay with it." "So,.
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