It seemed like as soon as I closed my eyes the chanting was back. Only somehow it was different, like there were people just out of sight repeating it.I woke quickly and sat up, I knew what the old man had done. He had transferred his power and all his knowledge to me. I got up and went to the bathroom and took a shower. I dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I could almost see the vitality coursing into me. I went to eat and thought about what had happened.When I walked through the gaming floor I looked at the slot machines and thought. I stopped at one and put in a bill before murmuring and then maxing the bet and pulling the handle. Bells went off and then the light at the top of the machine. I hit the button for the payout ticket and stood to go to the sports book.I maxed the bet for a fourteen race parley and went to sit in the back to watch the races. When I walked out at the end of the days I had won a lot of money. I had spent the day thinking and as soon as I reached. ******** My dearest Howard, Sometimes when you look at me, I see something in your eyes that I do not understand. I don’t know if what I see in your expression is sympathy or sadness, contempt or fury, lust or some other emotion I can’t describe. I know you try to hide your emotions from me, so some of what I see may not be what you really feel. If you feel sympathy, please don’t. It causes me to cry, when I think about the miscarriage, but I know it is for the best. I am not emotionally or financially stable enough to rear a child. And it would be a horror if I had to live with my mother and allow her opinions and disregard for others to rub off on my child. I doubt that my father would help, either. After all, he took me back to my mother and said I was too much like her for him to live with. He would just tell me to get an abortion. If you are sad for me, I can understand that, when I think about how badly I have messed up my life, it makes me sad, too. If the sadness is for your.
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