There was no commitment of any kind, and no assumptions about the future. In fact, with Sophia she had explicitly rejected them, and Sandy was likely to do the same when we talked after I went back to McKinley. It dawned on me that I was, in effect, lying to myself about what I was doing. Either I didn’t have the courage of my convictions, or my convictions were something other than I’d thought they were.Part of the problem, in fact perhaps the entire problem, was that I was totally unsure of myself with regard to ANYTHING, except for wanting to be a doctor. That was true even about my singing, which everyone seemed to love, but which I didn’t want to do in public. Why? Perhaps if I figured out the answer to THAT question, I might understand myself better.Liz’s words came back to me again — You always run away! It’s what you do best! and Coward! — and ultimately, that did define me. I WAS a coward. Or perhaps it was better to say I lacked self-confidence and I hated confrontation.. His sister Katherine?"Katherine? Is that you? It's me, Joerg!"The figure moved closer cautiously, keeping the bow trained on him."Joerg?" she asked with doubt in her voice, but then a jubilant "Joerg!" broke forth from her throat. "You've come back, little brother! Get off that horse so I can hug you!"Katherine had always been tall and strong, and Joerg found himself in a violent hug. Just then, the door of the farmhouse opened."Bjoern, Thorben, Joerg is back!"Two tall men rushed to them, and once again, Joerg found himself in bear hugs from his older brothers. Then, another young woman approached them, and Joerg stared in disbelief."Nele? Is that you? You are so beautiful!"Nele Isebrand blushed prettily. She had been only twelve when her brother had been banished, and the five years had all but extinguished her memory of him. But there he stood, taller even than her older brothers, a bushy beard adorning his chin, and in the clothes of a soldier. But he was upon her and lifted her.
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