Like a lot of things,once you stop doing them it's hard to start again and with my life in astate of flux I never made it a priority anymore. I moved a few timesand I thought my journal was lost, a victim of my unrest. It turned outmy entries were safe and sound on a flash drive in one of those plasticstorage tubs for a few years before I got curious and actually pluggedthe flash key into my computer and realized my journal was still intact.Understand, I never wrote with the idea of posting my diary. It was justa personal exercise, something to catalog my transition and my life.Becoming and being a tgirl is a unique journey. It's full of highs andlows, firsts and lasts and quirky little life moments that make it allworthwhile. My journal is littered with entries that are not included inthis online version because they didn't always work in a narrativeformat. And, once I got the idea to post them I elected to focus on theentries that told my story in some kind of semi-coherent. For a few seconds I stood there with her cock in my hand, her looking into my eyes, practically begging me with them to not reject her, to hurt her. I felt Helen pull herself into a hug with us.“ We talked about inviting in a guy or a gal. This way we can have both”. Helen said as the three of us stood there, with Gwen’s cock in my hand. Gently I began to rub and play with it and Gwen’s eyes started to loose there fear and started to enjoy what I was doing.“It’s Ok.” I whispered in her ear. “ This is a fantasy of mine”Gwen suddenly wrapped both her arms around me and pulled me tight against her. I released her cock and held her for a few moments as she realized that she was ok.“ Thank You. I never know what will happen. I’ve been hurt so many times.” Gwen whispered into my ear.“ Are we ok?” Helen asked. We both wrapped her up in our arms and we held each other close.“ Ladies” I said after a few minutes. Both looked up into my face. “Why am I the only one still half.
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