I was so tempted when I saw Wendybut resisted. When I dressed earlier and nobody cared, I was in heaven. It was the best day in my life."Jessica stopped and hung her head. After a few seconds pause I asked,"What made you decide to end it?" I couldn't stand going back to being Richard," sobbed Jessica. "I wasfrightened I'd never get to be Jessica ever again. I just couldn't thinkstraight and would have preferred to die as Jessica now than Richard inthe future. After chatting with Tracy I have a preliminary diagnosis ofbeing gender dysphoric. I'm scheduled to see her at eleven every morningto discuss parts of my life. We then can decide where I go, if I want tohave a sex-change or what. In the meantime I'm to live as Jessica as Iseem to be happier like that. It was the image of Wendy bluntly sayingthat William was dead replaying in my mind that almost stopped me hangingmyself. If it wasn't for that image I would probably not have hesitatedand would now be dead." So what. He isn't some guy on the prowl for a piece of ass. And yes,I know he has fallen in love with me." You're still dating him?" Erica asked sadly.Tommi nodded. "Yeah." Does he know that we're dating, too?"Tommi shook her head slowly. "I don't think so. Not yet, anyway. I... need to tell him." So, I get the odd days, and he gets the even days?"Tommi laughed. "Katie actually suggested that!" Having you half of the time is better than having you none of thetime," Erica tried to put a positive spin on Tommi's arrangement."Brian knows that I'm confused, and that I'm trying to sort out myfeelings. He still hopes I'll fall head-over-heels in love with him." And?" Erica was afraid of the reply, but still felt compelled to ask.Tommi let her head hang forward, shaking it slightly. "I don't know,"she said softly. "I like him. I suppose I even love him a little. ButI don't know if I could fall into a permanent relationship with him.He's safe, and gentle." And I'm?" Erica looked down.
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