"..." I go over to the door but don't open it."What kind of scam is this?" I ask, wishing like hell the peephole in my door hadn't been painted over years ago."Oh, it's no scam Mr. O'Malley! I know its a strange request but your Great-Granduncle twice removed lived to the astounding age of one-hundred-and-four, and all of his sons died in world war two while his daughters and granddaughters had no sons of their own! You're the only person who's actually responded, and if that stays the case you will inherit everything!" I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. "Hello?! Mr. O'Mally, PLEASE DONT CALL THE GARDA: THIS IS SERIOUS!!!" The attorney's voice cries desperately. "I'm still here, but why would that panic you so much?" I ask. "If we can't find at least one heir to inherit the estate within a year and a day of Mr. Ward's death it will destroy not only our firm but the entirety of Ireland!" "That's a bit hard to believe," I say, but somehow the desperation in her voice. "I'd bet on it." Well, fuck you and the horse you rode in on!" screamed Sue as she slammed the receiver down.I returned the phone to the cradle and decided to go get a beer. That's when I saw my wife, Mary standing in the doorway. I wondered how much of my phone conversation she heard. That question was soon answered."Has Sue really told Jerry she wants to take a lover, Bill?" asked Mary. "Can she be that stupid? He's a wonderful husband and father! He's as gentle as he is big and he treats her like a goddess." I was sworn to secrecy, Mary. Jerry is ashamed and frightened about his marriage. He's convinced he can't live without Sue and would try to accept her proposal if he has to do so," I revealed. "It's ripping him apart already." I'm supposed to go shopping with Sue and Karen tomorrow. I think I'll cancel those plans right now," stated Mary. "I won't be able to keep from giving her a piece of my mind." Then go, Mary! The dumb bitch needs an ass chewing, big time. Embarrass her,.
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