I will do anything you say to get smarter sir! You tell me to close one nostril at a time & inhale as much as I can, so I do and I immediately melt into a state of relaxation... Oh my god sir, this is amazing, I feel so warm, so relaxed, so open... I feel amazing, what is this stuff, it is incredible. You tell me it's an ancient oriental herbal mix, when actually it is poppers:)So how do I absorb some of your knowledge sir?Well Danni, I'm sure you've heard of the term seeds of knowledge? Yes of course, but I thought that was just a saying? Actually Danni the ancient Chinese elder men used to share their seeds of knowledge with students in need. Why do you think theChinese are so good at Mathmatics? Oh, that makes sense for sure, so how... Shhhh, you must inhale several more times before I can share my seeds with you. You must be completely relaxed and complient. You must not resist or have any negative thoughts at all, or you will not be able to absorb my seeds! Yes sir, I understand. Businesswomen at bars, wives stopping at Starbucks, stay-at-home moms shopping for husbands and family, the urges are everywhere. My problem is, I can’t just walk by without making myself known. I am a man. I can’t help it. The woman that you see at Starbucks is a woman on her way home from work. The woman that I see is a private fuck party waiting to meet someone that will make them lose all control of their inhibitions. The woman that I see is waiting for me. These are the stories that make up my life. Not my life at home with my wife, but my life as a nightmare for husbands and boyfriends everywhere. This particular story starts out innocent enough, deep in the heart of Texas. I never had much of a liking to Texas. I am from Tennessee. Texans like to give us Tennesseans shit because of our football team. “Welcome to the real UT,” some asshole would tell me. Nevermind the fact that if it were not for Tennessee, Texans would be speaking Spanish. But I digress. . . I was on my way.
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