“What were the pills for, if I might ask?” I interjected myself into the chatter now.“I ... I can’t safely have more children, but the doctors at the time, knowing this, still refused to give me a tubal ligation. Damn Catholic hospital! No offense, Bianca, but that’s how they were! I don’t know what they expected me to do to prevent one ... close my legs to Dennis for good, which damn near happened, anyway! Having Aaron nearly killed me, and then I had a miscarriage years later. It was my attempt at a second child. The gynecologist sided with the doctors back then, warned me sharply against another pregnancy, and then prescribed me the pills as a solution. I just wish that I had gone back and insisted on a damn tubal!” Aaron’s mother explained to me.“It wasn’t just you, Lizzie. I fucked up, royally, by declining the vasectomy. I should have stepped up to the plate and offered my balls to the knife, not in the castrating sense, of course. But the V. I should have fixed it for good. It. As stated my mom was a stay-home mom and she would prepare dinner while I showered. In the spacious bathroom I would strip down to my underwear and since I could not bring my stuffed toy into the bathroom, I would just squeeze my cock by cupping my hands, placing them between my legs, crossing my legs and squeezing. The pressure would build up and I would reach climax. (In fact, even today I would sometimes masturbate in this manner like a sissy to relive my c***dhood. Dear reader, you could also try out this method and let me know how it felt in the comments.) Thus began my moments of solitude in underwear. A c***d's mind is easily influenced at that age and I began to relate solitude and underwear and pleasure.When I was 10 my sexual awakening started. I felt different and uncomfortable looking at girls in underwear or swimwear. When I went on a vacation with my family and saw my mom in a swimsuit I wanted to hug her so much, to bury my face in her and squeeze her, I could not.
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