The swimming pool was mirror smooth, the water warm as I sat on the diving board swinging my legs and watching the sun's reflection on the water. I had found a wristwatch, heavy and gold and had picked it up intending to take it inside, but as I toyed with it I dropped it. I remember watching horrified as it fell into the water, sending ripples out across the mirror like surface as it dropped down to the bottom of the pool.Aghast at my clumsy stupidity I didn't stop to think, just slipped off my smock and jumped in after it. I remember the conscious effort to open my eyes underwater, as I struggled deeper. Only after managing to grab the watch did I think about what I was doing, back then I couldn't swim very well, had never tried to hold my breath underwater, not properly, clinging onto the watch I struggled up towards the surface, lungs hurting with the need to breathe, the surface so bright, so far away, the darkness closing in as I ran out of air.The darkness faded and I burst. "I looked up at Sara and said, "God I love you."There was a soft knock on the door and Sara said, "Yes." Can I come in?" my mother asked."Sure."My mother opened the door, walked in, closed the door and asked, "Is heall right?" Better. I think. We just had a talk."Feeling a little better, I said, "And Sara did all the talking."My mother smiled a little and said, "Honey. Your father and I had a longtalk with Richard. And it came down to that he loves Peter as hisbrother, but never wants to see you dressed as a girl again." He won't.... If I hadn't promised Linda that I'd do the wedding, I'dstop right now." Honey," my mother said, "what did your Aunt Dorothy tell you? She toldyou that this was part of you. Do you think you're going to be able tostop?" Peter," Sara said. "Honey. Really think about this. It may do moredamage to you trying to stop. Think really hard about this before youtry to stop."As my mother was walking out of my room, she said, "Your father is takingRichard,.
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