I constantly jerked off thinking about fucking this hot ass Asian behind the store. In the stockroom. She flustered me. And that shit never happens. Finally, one day walked right over to her department. She was wearing an all black ladies business pant suit. She had these black pumps on that were at least three inches. I walked up to her..."Do you wanna have dinner with me after work?" She paused...she didn't look at me when she said "I can't get with you!" I, shocked, but determined "Why? What's all the flirting for?" She finally confessed "I have someone , we've been together for ten years." At first, I was going to leave it alone. But I couldn't. Maybe it was ego. Maybe I'm an asshole who needs to get off when he sees someone he wants. Or, maybe it was a legitimate spark, "We can be friends," I pleaded. She shook her head no, and I walked away. I was getting my stuff out of my locker talking to another woman who worked with us. Suddenly, she came over, we'll call her Shirley.. Every time I thought of her, my stomach fluttered, and it terrified me. What did it mean? Was it nausea or elation? I kept reflecting on the feelings I had experienced, and how I never felt anything so powerful, so wonderful in my whole life. Was it just a freak thing, or was it my s****r that caused them? I questioned my sexuality, and my feelings for my s****r until I felt like I was on the brink of insanity. What scared me the most was that the only person who could understand, the only person who I could talk to about it was the one person I couldn’t bear to face. I actually had to laugh at the irony when that realization crashed onto me. I knew I couldn’t let another day pass without facing up to what had gone on between us. I tried to rationalize the whole thing by diminishing what had happened. It was so stupid when I thought about what had actually happened, and I couldn’t believe that it was causing me so much distress. I wondered if my s****r was even thinking any of this..
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