..She drives down long, straight, dark roads, the only light the pale green glow of her dashboard and the bright, white headlights of approaching cars. She feels the tightness in her chest, the way it makes her breathing quick and shallow, the raw, dry ache in the back of her throat and the itchy heat behind her eyes as her vision blurs slightly, her arms feeling heavy and numb on the steering wheel, her head a dead weight on her neck as she sinks deeper into her seat under the pressure of her thoughts. She hates the way her life seems to have a soundtrack, music linked to people and places, memories. She hears the slow, sad strings begin at the start of the track as she reaches the top of the hill and looks down on the lights of the town below her – Lana Del Ray-Born To Die – it seems appropriate somehow, this will be the death of what they had together.The lyrics trigger images in her head as she drives too fast down the steep hill; how when they first started talking she thought he. Miriam stood up andwaved at the audience and sat back down.When the reporters got an opportunity to ask me questions, they soonlearned that it was nearly impossible to explain the significance of myaccomplishment in laymen's terms. Thus, the exchange shifted toquestions concerning my prior history as a female mathematician and tothe role that Miriam played in inspiring me. It didn't take long beforeI was confronted with responding to the question, "Did you feel that asa girl mathematician you were not treated equally to boy mathematiciansin high school or college? Was less expected of you, for example?"I stared at the reporter like a deer in headlights. I wanted to tell thetruth, but I was afraid of what the consequences might be. I looked atMiriam sitting in the front row who clearly had love in her eyes, whileI could see my mom and dad rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.The math faculty looked indifferent and Lei seemed to be laughing.I looked back at Miriam and then.
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