I keep playing through what I did or where I went wrong but I keep coming blank then swap into these horrible bouts of self-loathing for not doing better at whatever the fuck was wrong. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in. Then he let go of my wrists and pulled my knickers down, still trapped his finger slipped inside me, as he finger fucked me I stayed quiet as I didn’t want him to know that it was I needed, it’s just a pity he wasn’t touching my clit. Then he took his hand away and a few seconds later his cock nudged inside me.As I was stuck over the back of the sofa Jerry fucked me, it was decent even though he was a little quick, obviously only thinking of himself, he fucked me for a few minutes and then he pulled out, his fingers replaced his cock as he rubbed me clumsily. Then using my juice as a lubricant he fingered my ass. This was different, a couple of people before had licked me there before but he was actually inserting his finger into me.About thirty seconds later he withdrew his finger and pushed his cock back in my pussy, fucking me a little too quickly for me he screwed me, then he withdrew and pushed himself up my bum. This hurt like hell “No No NO it hurts” I shouted, “Shut the fuck.
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