--Emily Claire Tamblyn"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"--Dustin Hoffman"I asked my wife 'On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said 'You know I'm no good at fractions'".--Rodney Dangerfield"I told my girlfriend that unless she expressed her feelings and told me what she liked, I wouldn't be able to please her. So she said 'Get off me'".--Garry Shandling"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked!'"--Jerry Seinfeld"In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind".--Nora Ephron"My wife likes to talk to me during sex. In fact, the other day she called me from a motel".--Scotty Record"My sex life is very bad. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all".--Henny Youngman"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and. Do you want to have a snack with me?" I was holding her hands in mine while pushing the luggage cart towards the exit.We shared a candlelight dinner instead of a snack. When I stopped my car outside her apartment building, Jennifer asked. "Do you want a cup of coffee?" Sure."I followed Jennifer up to her apartment. It wasn't a big unit, but she had decorated it well. It made my apartment looked like a doghouse."You have talent for interior design too," I remarked sincerely."Thank you, James." She turned and smiled at me on her way to the kitchen.I had already developed a horrible habit, more accurately my dick had. Whenever Jennifer smiled at me, my dick swelled. Whenever she laughed, my dick swelled. Whenever she blushed, my dick swelled. Needless to say when she was in my arms or leaning against me, my dick swelled."So what was it that you were going to show me?" I asked when I was sipping the coffee while caressing her hair in the couch."What?" You said you would show me something.
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