I just know I loved each and every one. I loved every moment between kisses, when we took a moment and looked into each others eyes and shared a smile. I loved each of those moments as one of us closing our eyes, then told the other that we would kiss again. I loved when I felt us both roll onto our sides facing each other and put an arm around each others backs holding each other gently. I dont think until that moment, had I ever understood what it felt like to share the same desire as the person I was with. When I was with Scott, nothing I ever wanted mattered. Everything with him was about what he wanted and expected from me. That was probably my fault as much as it was his as I accepted that expectation. But what felt so amazing and different about this is that I felt no expectation from Elizabeth other then to share the kiss we were sharing. I didnt know if there would be another and it didnt matter. Each moment, each touch was enough for that point in time, nothing else. .. nor could I have known that I'd allow him to do it again once he had. I thought that having Gene there this time would keep him from trying anything, not thinking for one second that they might enjoy acting in collusion for a "round two".About halfway through the movie, I noticed that I was sucking on V's finger. Now, really, I didn't mean anything by it, any more than by having Gene rub my feet at the other end of the couch at the same time. It's just something I do without really thinking about because it's enjoyable, like a habit, an oral fixation that sometimes extends to the people around me rather than to just chewing on pens. I should have bought a fucking pen. I didn't figure it bothered him, seeing as we'd been friends for so long anyway. I thought he'd understand that I meant it to be platonic; besides, I'm married. After another half hour or so, V excused himself briefly and went into the kitchen, then to the restroom, and came back with a folded-up blanket presumably.
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