“I dunno, I don’t even know where I am,” I said, “Ornate and shiny double gates in front of a misty river, warm orange red sky above the far shore. Puffy clouds that appear to be talking to me and swirly mists that I appear to be standing on as if they are solid ground. Where the hell am I?”“Well, Customer, Mr Russell Charles Atkins, what does this scene bring to mind?”“The Pearly Gates?” I guessed.“Do they look pearly to you?” The Voice asked, with a degree of petulance.“No they don’t,” I replied, “What worries me more is what looks like a boat in the clouds, like the one that carries souls over the River Styx.”“Oh! Classical scholar, then, are we?” The Voice snorted.“No, I mend roads, put out ‘men at work’ signs, and general hard graft, or I used to before I retired last year; it’s just that we had ‘Jason & The Argonauts’ on Betamax at home when I was younger, for the kids; I sat with them and watched it a lot.”“Well, there’s no more Pearly Gates or River Styx, every mortal person. Audrey had gone back down into the cabin and brought up a couple of bottles of wine.She looked at me with an innocent smile and asked, "Would you open one of these, Dave?" Sure." I said. Audrey produced three glasses and placed them on the cabin roof. The cabin roof wasn't perfectly flat so when the boat rocked a bit they started to slide off. Judith saw them start to slide and jumped towards us to catch them. I had my hands full with the bottle and the cork screw, but I was right next to the cabin roof, so I tried to block the fall of the glasses by putting my left hip against the edge of the cabin roof. Audrey, in the meantime, had reacted at the same instant as Judith, and lunged towards the glasses, with the result that the three of us crashed together and collapsed into a heap on the deck. More like the two of them had tackled me, and landed on top of me. I had held the bottle in the air to keep it from breaking, and Audrey and Judith were laughing hysterically.Judith was.
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