That was how her mind saw it. She was in mental and physical pain and everything was disjoint and incoherent and her interpretation of all that what that the rape was still happening. Windy’s words flowed inward but had no meaning, Elena was largely aphasiac, but I could feel her fighting to rearrange the chaos and get meaning back. I took Windy’s wrist and moved it from Elena’s forehead. Windy tried to put it back but I held firm, and then Windy read better and understood. The touch was getting tangled in the rape memories, and Elena began to cohere better once the hand was gone. Once Elena got to a certain point, I spoke. ‘Cohere, coherence, focus on the sounds there is meaning there you remember it Elena, focus on the sounds and find the words underneath you will remember it is all still within reach, find the word and then the qualia and then — there! Hello Elena Windy is your friend and she will help you!’ Yes I’m crazy. I’m damaged in ways no one can reach but that damage makes. Expecting the steel in Mr Smith’s voice to translate to steely hands, she readied herself, but to her surprise the man satisfied himself with stroking her ample bosom.“What’s your name?”“Mary,” she said, immediately regretting not inventing something, like Lola or Lulu or Fifi.“So, Mary,” the man said, his fingertips grazing her nipples as he spoke. “That really is a fantastic pair of knockers.”She wasn’t sure if she should thank him for the compliment or not. She didn’t want to look at him, but she didn’t want to look at her husband either. Instead she stared at grey paving. There seemed nothing else to say, so she said, “Thank you” anyway.The man chuckled and his fingertips grew harsh, closing on her nipples. She felt them harden, though she wished they wouldn’t. What was Greg playing at, letting a complete stranger touch his wife like this? It must be some kind of twisted punishment for her pushing him into this, as she’d pushed herself into it.Still, at least Mr Smith seemed to.
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