M.C. knew that she wasn't expecting a delivery but maybe it was for her roommate.She unlocked and opened the door. The deliveryman immediately pushed his waypast her as soon as the door was opened. M.C. didn't understand what was goingon. Then as she looked at the man more closely, fear swept across her facesuddenly realizing that although he wore the familiar brown shirt and matchingbrown shorts, there was no UPS insignia on his shirt and for some strange reasonhe was wearing a paper filter mask over his face. Finally realizing (too late) that she was in trouble she tried to yell forhelp. But in one quick motion the man had closed the door behind him and clampeda chloroform drenched cloth over M.C.'s gaping mouth. The pungent odor of thechemically filled rag quickly filled her mouth and nostrils. M.C. struggledas mightily as she could, but the man was too strong and soon she was as limpas a rag doll in his powerful arms. He laid the unconscious girl down on the floor then retrieved. And now Riley is dying – this big 40-year-old man gutshot and I’m just a kid. It could have been me but it’s not and I don’t want to be gutshot either. Through and through in the upper arm maybe . . . a no-boner in the fleshy part of the thigh . . . perhaps a little side-shot – like a modern version of a Heidelberg saber scar. All honorable service. Riley won’t get a medal for this. We’re not fucking green berets with purple hearts flowing out of our asses. This is a hard army. You don’t get medals for nothing in this army. Riley didn’t do anything heroic and that’s the nub of us. We’re anti-heroes. We are anti-Gung Ho. The last thing we care about is heroism. All we do heroism-wise is drag a wounded comrade off the street. The rest is all fear. We crawl from house to house, hearts beating, bowels loose, sweating till we stink like pigs, heads pounding, We are the anti-heroes. We practice making ourselves very very small. We want to be small and skinny and insignificant. Every cell.
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