There were a couple of times when I had gone to bed and before I went to sleep I heard her pause outside my door. Oh well, no one said this was going to be easy.Glenna was often at home to visit. We explained our living arrangements and said we got along without shouting at each other or other recriminations. I think I kept going up in my daughter's estimation, for I treated Heidi the same as I had always done. I showed the same respect and consideration for her as before. Glenna knew what her mother had done and she couldn't understand. "Daddy, I can see you still love Mother. Why do you have to get divorced?" Sweetheart, I can be your mother's friend, but what she did took away that special feeling I had for her when she was true and mine only. I don't think you can understand that unless something like this, God forbid, should ever happen to you. I think we are managing the best we can."In fact I know it is harder on her than on me. She in reality has lost both me and her lover,. Knowing that we could never wake her back up, and that she would never be with us again. The five of us would never crowd into one queen size bed again, all talking and laughing about something one of the guys said that was cute. We would never have five hands in the center of the circle to start the fun.She was gone.The priest was talking, but I wasn't listening. The nine of us all stood there, trying to hold ourselves together. It wasn't working to well. Jackie had tears streaming down her cheeks already, and the service had barely started. The church part had been hard, and we had cried there. Now we were standing in the cemetery. Where Kaitlin was going to be buried.I could hardly wrap my mind around it. My best friend in the world was going to be six feet under. Creed was wrong when they said, "I'm standing on the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down" (One Last Breath, Weathered CD). You can't think that six feet isn't that far down. Not when your best friend.
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