If you don’t want us to show this to the farm manager, and tell him that we caught you masturbating into the bottles, then for the rest of the week you are going to be our sex-slave.” Nothing much else was said for the remainder of that Tuesday, and I was allowed to go about my work without further interference. But as the end of the day approached, Megan kept winking at me, until finally she piped up, “You are mine tomorrow, and I know exactly what I’m going to do with you.” Okay, now here’s the thing, anyone with even a modicum of common sense would have rushed out of there that night and never dare return. But to a mind of sixteen, the situation seemed impossible. If I refused to return and do what I was told, I was certain they would follow through on their threat. They would tell the farm manager, and he’d report it to the school. Who would believe my version of what happened? Not only that, but I have to admit that I was excited by thoughts of what would come next. Rain. The dog looks up, and asks, “Do you think the agent was a fan of DiMaggio?”Smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.5. Don’t take.
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